Where the hell are my keys????

            Did you ever put something down, maybe on a table and then later look for it and its gone? You search and search and can’t find it. You know you put it down so you stand there and are like, “What the hell is going on”? It could be keys, a phone, money, or whatever. I know this has happened to you as everyone can recall a time when they’ve torn their house apart. Don’t deny it.

             And then it happens. Minutes or even hours later, you walk in the room and voila! There it is!!! It’s back!!!!!!! You sit there and start questioning your eyesight, your memory and then your sanity. What is really going on here?  

            I have some theories as I’m sure you do too. Is the brain playing tricks on us? Maybe we are subconsciously blocking the item we are looking for, creating an illusion in our minds that it isn’t there. Not buying it? Well then, perhaps ghosts in the house are taking our items to confuse us, play with us or just trying to get our attention. That’s not doing it for you either? My theory is a bit more unconventional and may be viewed, well; as totally insane. But before you judge, open your minds and yes, go ahead and have a good laugh if you must. It’s okay.

            Let’s move to the year 2117. Science and technology have advanced beyond our wildest dreams. This is mainly because of full disclosure by the world’s governments. There are basically no more conspiracies. Earth is an open book. For example, we’ve been told aliens exist; in fact they’ve’ been here for thousands of years. It seems that crazy dude with the wild hair on “Ancient Aliens” was right all along. And believe it or not, civilization didn’t collapse; in fact it embraced the news. We really did land on the moon and yes, there is a real face on Mars. Climate change wasn’t a product of the liberal left, it was a fact. Just ask the tens of thousands of seniors who have fled Florida since the winters are way too harsh; especially for those who don’t ski. It was also a letdown to know the Mafia really did kill J.F.K.and Marilyn Monroe. So obvious! And finally, Barack Obama was an American citizen (Sorry).
            Even though most of the country now speaks Spanish, some of the government initiatives are still written in English for those who haven't made the transition from the Spanish-English Language Act of 2076 enacted during America's Tri-Centennial celebration. Yes, this is not your father’s America anymore!

            While society and our culture have changed, apparently the nation’s love of game shows and reality shows has remained in a nostalgic state. America just can’t get enough. This leads us to a popular game show; a futuristic version of “America’s Funniest Videos” and “Candid Camera” for those who remember. “Back to the Future...The Game Show” is a show in which contestants travel back in time and “steal” an item from a random citizen in a random time and viewers get to watch their reactions. Since the targets are not aware that time travel exists, they have no idea they are being viewed by a live audience over 100 years in the future and are entertaining the masses. Sounds cruel, but it is funny, watching people go absolutely nuts trying to find the item, and it’s even funnier when it’s put back and then discovered by our victims. In a society so advanced, it is remarkable that humor is still provided in the misfortunes and desperate actions of the so-called “old-timers” of the past. It’s still fun taking advantage of the less informed. The more things change the more they stay the same.

            So the next time you go to pick up your keys and they are gone; just look up; smile and wave and ask to have them back. Maybe the time traveler contestant will show some mercy, put them back and move on to someone else. Someone who doesn’t know about the show and can boost the ratings!  

© 2014 Nick Malcuit