BELIEVE....

            Is it me or have I been seeing a lot of inspirational and motivational writings lately?  It might be something in the air or maybe it’s just the holiday season. Nevertheless, blogs, Facebook, and Twitter are all full of words to inspire us and keep us looking at the glass “half-full”. It also could be that many of us seem to be in the same boat; determined to make sure it’s not the Titanic. Yes, life is complicated for many of us. Personally speaking, life makes me think of roller coasters, which are supposed to be fun. As the anticipation of the slow ride up the track gives way to the unknown of what lies just over the hill, that fast drop down can be exhilarating and exciting or it can create fear, helplessness and that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. Many of us live our lives on that roller coaster; up and down, up and down.

            Being 55 years of age, I’ve had many experiences in my life and made many mistakes. This has resulted in three decisions that have changed how I now live my life. Call them New Year’s resolutions; but they really are life resolutions. I’m not preaching here, just offering some personal thoughts and friendly advice designed to help those who seek it.

            The first is to live life without worrying what other people think. For many, this is difficult as developing a thick skin when you’re sensitive takes hard work. But when seeking approval from others, keep in mind that misery really does loves company. Isn’t it amazing how people react to you when things are going well? Some stay around to see what they can get from you or how you can help them. Then you have the others who totally stay away and are indifferent, perhaps out of jealousy or envy. It is an interesting dynamic but the point is; don’t worry about them. To see people’s true colors, I go back the roller coaster analogy. See who’s willing to get in that car with you for that slow ride up and then the fast downward spiral knowing you need help getting through the ride. Those are the people who really care. I now surround myself with those people; those who are supportive and caring and not judgmental. But remember it works both ways. Each of us could ask if we are giving anything back. And then is it enough? If you’re like me, you do your best but deep down know you could do more. It’s so important to give back. While it sounds corny, you will make a difference if you do.

            The second resolution is to take the time to do things for myself, things I need to do for my well-being. Take care of the caregiver, so to speak. Doing things you need to do for yourself is not selfish. Selfish is when you don’t do for others. There is a big difference. Those of us in the autism community know the importance of being positive, focused, alert and energetic. The old adage, take care of your mind, body and spirit, is true if not challenging. Eating healthy and steady exercise is just the tip of the iceberg. Relying on nicotine and caffeine in the morning is not the answer. When you wake up, what about meditating or just taking deep breaths for 10 minutes before getting into the day?  Or start the day with a walk outside. Then go find and register for that art class or yoga class or whatever you’ve always wanted to do and take the plunge. Violin lessons anyone? Find your spirit and then fill it with passion. Is it music, writing, or gourmet cooking? Whatever is important to you, do it! Don’t wait till after the holidays, do it now. Many people may be rolling their eyes now, but when you really think about it, we need to be at our best everyday don’t we? It’s important to be disciplined enough to care about you and what you need to be fulfilled. In turn it will make you more effective in everything you do, influence people around you and then those few guilty pleasures you have won’t make you feel so guilty.

            And the last resolution is to go out of my comfort zone to deal with challenges and make life changes. Many of us fall into routines when facing issues in our lives. Whether we have children with developmental disabilities, medical issues, financial problems, or our relationships are falling apart, we each have our own unique method to deal or cope. However, some work and some don’t. Either way, it’s safe to assume life will continue to present us with these problems and how we deal with them determine the outcomes. Personally, the “woe is me attitude” doesn’t work. I’m not taking the easy way out. I didn’t always think like this but my family and “real” friends have inspired and enlightened me. We all reach that moment in life when you look around and say, this is my opportunity. You have to take that chance; a chance on yourself. Many people are religious and have faith in God or other beliefs but how about having faith in you? Instead of complaining that “it’s not in the cards for me”, deal yourself a new hand. Believe in destiny or fate all you want, however make it your destiny to believe in yourself and try something new. So many people my age were afraid to take a shot when we were younger and always had something to fall back on just in case. If you have something to fall back on then chances are you’ll fall back. My wife always tells me, do what you love and everything else will work out. She is right and set the precedent by becoming a nurse, which was her lifelong dream, at age 50. I hear so many people say things like “I’m too old to do that” or “what if it doesn’t work?’ My response to them is “But what if it does work? What if all you needed was to believe in yourself?”  A wise friend of mine doesn’t use the word “try”. He says when you “try”, you give yourself an out. Anyone can try. You need to stay in the chase, no matter what goals and dreams you are chasing. We are all human beings not human doings so be who you are. Be passionate about it and this year you will make it happen!

            One of my favorite movies is a small independent film from 1984 called Windy City. In fact, my daughter Emily is named after the lead female character. It’s about a group of college friends with big dreams who face the reality of life after graduation. The male lead character’s life is particularly a mess. He wants to be a writer but doesn’t write and works at a job he really doesn’t want. Furthermore, his lifelong best friend is dying of cancer before his eyes and finally he has just lost the love of his life as she is about to be married. He goes on to help make his dying friend’s dream of sailing away a reality and while at sea, the friend passes away. This is his moment. The movie ends up with the lead character running into his now divorced ex-love in a store and she is holding a copy of his newly published novel. They end up having a conversation about the subject of the book and he tells her it’s about a guy who believes in happy endings. I am not naïve and realize this is just a movie. My point is that we all get beat up in life but having the courage and faith to follow through in what you believe gives you a fighting chance. Resolutions are personal so think about the New Year and the positive changes in your life. Give of yourself to others but also do what you need to do for yourself. You deserve to be happy. It will make you a better spouse, parent, friend and ultimately a better person. And ask yourself, “Do I believe in happy endings?”  

.........Absolutely!

Happy Holidays,Merry Christmas to all and have a Happy, Healthy and Peaceful New Year. 

.........And Believe!

By Nick Malcuit

©12/2013

Montauk Empire?

 

             If you live or have lived on Long Island, chances are you are familiar with the lighthouse at Montauk Point. For me, this landmark has always been a place of interest. For those who have visited it and made the trek to the top, you know what I am talking about. And for those who have not, it is a remarkable place; a place where you can actually feel the past around you. Writing about the lighthouse, I searched for an exciting and unadvertised piece of that past while gathering facts about the structure itself. And I was not disappointed.

            According to longislandmagazine.com, the early days of the lighthouse go back to the father of our country. When you step foot on the grounds, it’s almost laughable to know the land you are standing on was purchased for $255.12. And when you climb the stairs of the lighthouse and overlook the Atlantic, you are standing in a structure that was commissioned by George Washington in 1792. The actual construction began in June of 1796 and was completed in November of 1796 for $22,300 by architect John McComb, Jr. By April of 1797 it was in full operation ("Montauk Point"). I’m sure our founding fathers would be thrilled to know that what was considered the first public works project in the United States of America is not only still standing, but still operating to this day.

            Researching the history of the lighthouse made me think about the HBO series “Boardwalk Empire”. The show takes place in Atlantic City during prohibition and shows us how the illegal liquor trade emerged and thrived. Now switch to Montauk Point circa 1920s, a desolate area right off the Atlantic about 120 miles from New York City with access to flat highways and also equipped with a beacon to guide ships and bootleggers right to the mainland. I am assuming this is not exactly the commerce George Washington envisioned with this project. But according to author Jim Merritt, Long Island or more specifically Patchogue, was the perfect spot for someone like gangster Dutch Schultz to setup his bootlegging operation. Furthermore, I guess I shouldn’t be shocked to read that the Coast Guard’s primary duty from 1920 to 1933 was to cut off bootleggers from meeting ships off the coast loaded with Canadian whiskey. In fact, history tells us there are plenty of documented gun battles and chases in the waters off the island with one fascinating story involving a yuletide shipwreck.

            Records show that this incident occurred around Christmas time 1922. A schooner flying a British flag named Madonna V left Halifax, Nova Scotia and when it reached Long Island it ran ashore near the Napeague Coast Guard Station (“Merritt”). As the ship broke apart the crew and runners fled the scene leaving its cargo floating in the water. Word quickly spread that there was Canadian liquor available for the taking so many of the area residents flocked to see what the commotion was all about and to get some contraband; after all, ‘tis the season. One witness described the scene as if someone had dumped a barrel of corks in a bathtub. “Lifelong teetotalers and even deacons of the church risked pneumonia in the December surf to bring it ashore” (“Merritt”). I can just picture the dozens of people making their way in the ocean, fighting the waves but making sure they grabbed whatever they could while risking their lives and possibly freezing to death.

            Long Island also played a part in the movement to repeal Prohibition. Landowner August Heckscher, (yes, Heckscher State Park) lobbied for repeal claiming loss of tax revenue and jobs. Heckscher argued that Americans were spending $400 million annually on Canadian liquor (“Merritt”), with much of that activity occurring on or near his own property. Eventually, all of the action around Montauk and the lighthouse came to an end as did Prohibition with the 21^st amendment in 1933 ("Constitution of the United States").

            So next time you visit Montauk Point and the lighthouse, talk to the members of the Montauk Historical Society about these stories as apparently it is not a focus of the tour. You can tell them you know one of the main functions of this structure was to provide a guiding light for ships peddling illegal booze. Perhaps we can even convince writers of Boardwalk Empire to script a thread on the Long Island connection as it certainly would be interesting for those of us familiar with the island. For people like me who love history, this national landmark has impacted the entire area, not just Long Island and provides an exciting look back in time.

                                                      

                                                                         References

Merritt, Jim. "New York’s Rum Row, Bootlegging on Long Island." NYS Archives. 2.3 (2003): n. page. Web. 15 Nov. 2013. <http://www.archives.nysed.gov/apt/magazine/archivesmag_winter03.shtml>.

"Montauk Point." LongIslandMagazine.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Nov 2013. <http://www.longislandmagazine.com/montauk-point/>

Rattray, Jeanette. East Hampton History. Garden City: NY Country Life Press, 1953. Print.

United States Senate. Constitution of the United States. Web. <http://www.senate.gov/civics/constitution_item/constitution.htm>.

This Paranormal Life of Ours....

I have been fascinated with Halloween, ghost stories, horror movies and all things paranormal ever since I was about 6 or 7. Saturday nights at our house in the early 60’s was all about The Jackie Gleason Show.  But after that show, we switched to Chiller Theater. Its opening sequence was a scene from “Plan 9 from Outer Space” with a great orchestrated theme song. I remember it like it was yesterday and thus began my love for these movies. Years later, after actually having my own psychic experience; seeing my friend’s deceased grandmother sitting on a couch in his basement, I realized I needed to look into this and find out what the heck is going on here.          

            I recently watched my new copy of “The Conjuring” and seeing the characters of Lorraine and Ed Warren brought me back to the mid 70’s and a presentation of theirs I attended on Long Island. The Warrens were great; entertaining and informative and also pioneers in the field. In addition, before Jason and Grant and the “Ghost Hunters” TV show, there was the “godfather” of psychic phenomena as it was known, Hans Holzer. In the 70’s I had the honor of taking a Parapsychology course from Mr. Holzer. His lectures were incredible, especially listening to EVP’s before they were EVP’s. What we listened to were cassette recordings made with a hand held mono recorder/player in haunted houses and cemeteries. Truly chilling stuff! In fact, I urge you to record your empty house when you leave and then listen to the recording when you return. You may be surprised at what is there.

            Some people get a rush or thrills from roller coasters, other thrill rides or riding motorcycles. For me, there’s nothing like that feeling when you are watching a scary movie and don’t know what’s coming next or what lurks around that corner. Or the feeling you get when you hear that strange noise and the goose bumps follow. And what about that shadow you think you just saw out of the corner of your eye which causes the hair on your arm and neck to stand up. How cool is that!

            Horror movies for me are full of contradictions. They are so much fun. But also, they are scary, creepy and make me feel uneasy at the same time. Rather than turn this into a top ten list of favorite movies, let’s just say I love them all. I am particularly fond of the timeless nature of the “The Exorcist”. However, I also remember numerous copycat films that followed its release. One particular film comes to mind. I recall my cousin Roseann and I in 1974 (I think), going to the movies to see “Beyond the Door”, a B-movie Exorcist rip-off. Upon returning home and entering a basically dark house, we were startled by my mother sitting on the steps who says "How was the movie?". Of course she seemed to be dressed just liked the possessed woman in the movie and her sitting there in the dark was just creepy. She totally scared the shit out of us as we walked in.

            Over the years I’ve been criticized for letting my children watch horror movies. I believe that if you reinforce the fact that it’s a movie and not real and if it’s not too intense or bloody, most children can handle it. This is entertainment. Real life is what’s frightening. I think about a home video of Emily at maybe 3 years old looking out from behind her crib saying, “Freddy Krueger’s coming”. I realize it’s not Disney, but very funny. And then there’s the story about one of the first times Marian met my son Nick. For some reason I had him at work with me and when Marian came in the building, he was watching a video tape called “The Boogeymen”. It was a compilation of the popular horror movie killers like Jason, Freddy, Michael Myers and Pinhead from Hellraiser. He was about 10 at the time and Marian (who I only knew a few months then) says “You let your son watch this trash? What’s wrong with you?” Ah, the good old days. Finally, what makes a dad more proud than that rite-of-passage and finally realizing the kids are old enough to watch “The Exorcist” for the first time? Brings a tear to my eye!

            Naturally this is all tongue in cheek, (to a point) and as the kids were getting older we had our own classics such as Nickelodeon’s “Are you Afraid of the Dark?”, “GooseBumps” and one of our favorites, “Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction. We made some memories, and now the kids look back fondly, I think?  In June of 2006, the remake of “The Omen” was released (6/6/6 to be precise). I remember my mother begging us not to go see it on that date as if we would be releasing some ancient curse on us all if we did. Funny stuff…And tell me I don’t come through in the clutch to celebrate birthdays. Emily’s 15^th was a weekend spent in the Lizzie Borden House, complete with a tour that night, group discussion about the crime, and then breakfast the next morning cooked by a worker dressed just like Andrew Borden, murder victim. The funniest part was watching my 12 year old son hitting on some twenty-something girl there. Nick’s line was “ Hey, wanna do the Ouija board with me?” Doesn’t get any better!       

             Now, when Halloween rolls around, it is a time to reflect; a time to think back and recall the memories. It’s the warm and fuzzy feelings brought on by night after night of horror films. For example, there’s the original John Carpenter Halloween and Nightmare on Elm St. Then we settle in for a night of Friday the 13^th   followed by part II, III, IV, V, VI, VII and VIII. Well you get my point. I also don’t mind when my cousins Andrea and Maria make fun of me and send me creepy pictures of dolls or clowns on Facebook. They are just mad because I know dolls come alive at night when everyone’s sleeping, that’s why Emily never had any. And you never saw a clown at any of my kid’s parties did you? I know better. But have your fun, its ok.

            Funny how life is?  Now Marian, who read me the riot act years ago when I let Nick watch his video is my wife and watches horror movies. Her famous quote during every movie is “Why do you make me watch this shit?” I don’t make her, she can’t resist! We even had our own ghost in the old Wallkill apartment. You’ve heard about the little boy dressed in white haven’t you?  I fondly remember my mom visiting with her bottle of Holy water. Remarkable…And now Marian just shakes her head as Louis sits and puts on “The Shining”. She can’t believe he laughs when Jack Nicholson says “Wendy, I’m home” as the axe goes through the door. Or how he constantly rewinds and replays the “Here’s Johnny” scene as he gets ready to take care of Wendy. Yes Louis is one of us now.....There's no escape...…As in the words of Stewie Griffin, “Victory is mine!”

                         Have a Safe and Happy Halloween Everyone and Redrum to all!

by Nick Malcuit (10/30/2013)

Bewitched.....

   

        Since Halloween is in the air and American Horror Story's theme is The Coven, what better way to kick off the blog than with a related, seasonal tale... Enjoy!
      
       We’ve all seen the scenes. Young, beautiful, sometimes scantily clad young ladies corrupting the morally superior Puritan men. Then when confronted, they suffer facial contortions, violent shaking, moans and writhing on the floor (Novins 128). This was usually followed by a minister claiming it was the devil’s doing and then we watched in horror as the women were burned alive. Yes, this is how many of us were introduced to events in Salem, Massachusetts. But what do we really know about what went on in Salem in 1692?

       History tells us due to his inability to create harmony among the villages after about 3 years on the job, Minister Samuel Parris was dismissed. Coincidentally, it was at this time his daughter Betty, niece Abigail and another child Ann Putnam began exhibiting odd behavior such as nonsensical and foolish speech followed by strange contortions (Novins 125-26). In addition, the minister had a Caribbean slave named Tituba, who was involved with herbal medicine so you can see where this was headed. They were bewitched and Tituba was believed to be just one of the witches casting this spell on the children.   

       According to Eric Foner in “Give Me Liberty”, the only way to avoid prosecution was to confess and name other witches. Therefore in the coming months like a freight train, hundreds of accusations rolled in and around Salem, some in order to protect themselves and some to settle old scores within the community (106).

       In a movie version of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, (1996) Abigail Williams has an affair with John Proctor which leads to mass hysteria and executions. However,  in reality, Abigail would have been 11 and John Proctor 60 years of age therefore the likelihood of an affair can be questioned. While the movie portrays Abigail and the girls’ behavior as adolescent sexuality, historians debate the real reasons for the strange hysterics. Movies have been known to take liberties in the name of entertainment. For example, Miller's response to critics regarding his deviations of actual events in Salem was “What’s real?” (129)

       Around 150 people were charged during the trials and in all, nineteen were hanged. In addition, a husband of a so-called witch was executed by being suffocated under a pile of stones. While the executions were gruesome, nevertheless, it was not the images I always saw on TV of a young woman tied to a stake being engulfed by flames.

        According to Carnes and Garraty, many of the accused witches were older women, widows of men of high status and women who owned property. Some had mastered herbal medicine and the healing arts (127). Based on this information one can start to draw conclusions about the underlying reasons of the trials. They go on to explain “women who lived apart from the daily guidance of men subverted the patriarchal authorities of church and state” (127).

        In conclusion, there were many elements that went into the bewitching of Salem. Puritan anxiety towards women’s attitudes was a key component. Likewise, there have been other theories such as tension and rivalry between factions within the community and fear of Indian attack (Novins 136). Since these theories lacked excitement and romanticism, it was not unusual for Hollywood to take a much more adventurous and sinister approach to this period in history, using illicit and wicked behavior, cauldrons full of boiling animal parts, and black magic to illustrate these events.

Works Cited

Carnes and Garraty, “The American Nation: A History of the United States.” In Cheryl Novins, 3^rd ed. The Pearson Textbook Reader Boston: Pearson, 2011. 125-36.Print

Carnes and Garraty, “Re-Viewing the Past, The Crucible.” In Cheryl Novins, 3^rd ed.  The Pearson Textbook Reader Boston: Pearson, 2011. 125-29. 128-29.Print

Foner, Eric. Give Me Liberty! An American History, Seagul Edition 2nd ed. New York, NY: WW Norton & Co Inc. 2009. 106. Print.

Hytner, Nicholas, Dir. The Crucible. 1996. DVD. 10/17/2013